


I Am Something Stupid, Do Me

by the_mad_hellcat



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Axel Walker Shenanigans, Drunk Barry Allen, Drunken Shenanigans, Jelly Fish, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 10:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_mad_hellcat/pseuds/the_mad_hellcat
Summary: Based on the prompt: Person A: I want to do something stupid. / Person B: I am something stupid, do me.A drunk Cisco, Caitlin, and Barry wander into Saints and Sinners while the Rogues are enjoying an evening of group bonding.  The Rogues don't quite know what to do with the drunk trio, Axel admits he forgot he didn't know how to swim and Len has to confront the facts he might actually have feelings for Barry Allen.Also learn how Axel got his nickname, Jellyfish boy!





	I Am Something Stupid, Do Me

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know own The Flash or any concept or character within that universe. I just like to take them out for a bit and play with them. I pull put them back where I found them and in the same condition. ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

It had been a while since Leonard Snart, aka Captain Cold, had a sincere desire to put any member of Team Flash on ice, sure he made empty threats every so often to keep up his image or when he caught Cisco undressing his sister with his eyes, but he wouldn’t follow through with it.  Today though, he would gladly turn Dr. Caitlin Snow into an ice sculpture and drop her off at the Hamilton Art Gallery without a twinge of regret.  Barry, Cisco, Iris and Caitlin came into Saints and Sinners after an obvious night of drinking, which put Len on high alert, Barry should know better… oh wait, Barry was also drunk.  Wait, Barry couldn’t get drunk. 

 The Rogues looked at each other confused and more than a bit amused.  A few looked as if they wanted to start trouble, but Len nipped that in the bud quickly with an icy glare.  He was worried that Mark was going to still try to be a shit but since Caitlin saved Shawna after she was shot in the stomach by a trigger-happy, meta-phobic cop he had been a bit more lenient for the Rogues tolerance of Team Flash.  Lisa pushed back her seat and went over to the group, ok she went over to Cisco her officially unofficial boyfriend.  “Now what is a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?” she asked far too sweetly.

 “Barry says the fries in this place are great,” Caitlin said, swaying slightly.  Barry had mentioned that Snow could not hold her liquor although she kept trying to just the same.

 “Caitlin threw up on the floor of Big Belly Burger and we were kicked out,” Cisco said, “and Barry says the fries in this place are awesome.”

 “They are,” Barry said, “I should know, you brother has stuck me with the check here enough times that I just eat the fries he leaves on the plate.”

 “Should be illegal to waste good fries,” Cisco said.

 “Probably why he does it,” Caitlin nodded sagely.

 Len felt a headache forming right behind his eyes as the Rogues snickered, Axel having the guts or the stupidity (maybe a mix of both with a dash of crazy) to laugh.  He needed to get them out of here now, he didn’t like the look some of the other patrons were giving the intoxicated trio and he didn’t feel like getting into an all-out barroom brawl this evening.  He kicked back his chair, looking every inch of annoyed and put upon as he felt with an icy exterior.  His heavy foot falls is what got the trios attention, Cisco hid behind Lisa with a bizarre squeak/yelp sound and Caitlin pulled Barry in front of her like a human shield and he almost fell on his ass in the process.  “OK, Barry, I will bite…”

 “He hopes you do,” Caitlin giggled, then realized she said it out loud and grabbed on even more to Barry.  Axel laughed, Hartley and Roy snickered, Lisa gave them the frosty glare and they quickly shut up. 

 “Are you drunk?” Len ignored Caitlin and looked right into Barry’s eyes, he certainly looked drunk, the alcohol-induced haziness of his normally bright, shinning hazel eyes gave it away.  Len just couldn’t believe it.  He had tried to get Barry drunk before just to see if he could and 10 bottles of cheap tequila later, Barry was sober as a Puritan judge.

 “I think so,” Barry nodded.

 Len looked over Barry’s shoulder at the drunk, cowering doctor.  “What did you do?” he asked in full Captain Cold drawl.

 “Made 250ml of Barry-proof alcohol,” she whispered loudly and bit her lip, swaying slightly.

 “And how much did you drink?” Len asked Barry and in response Barry looked everywhere but at Len causing Len to growl, “don’t tell me you drank it all.”

 “Like a shot,” Cisco said.

 How the hell were these three still alive?  They had no self-preservation.  His fingers were itching to draw the cold gun and shoot something, but he left it at his safe house.  “You need to go home and sober up,” he said, “you get one free pass because I am feeling generous.  Show up here shit-faced again and I will take full advantage of the situation.”

 “He wishes you would,” Caitlin said and Len felt the pain behind his eyes begin to throb.  Barry said she was almost intolerable drunk but this was ridiculous. And why wasn’t Barry arguing with her or was he so far gone he didn’t hear her? 

 “The doc is a terrible wingman… woman… whatever,” Roy said.

 “Someone call them a cab,” Len ordered, then looked at Delilah, the bartender, who just nodded and took out her cellphone.

 “Don’t worry about Cisco, I will take him home.”

 “No, you will not,” Len said, “you took your motorcycle and he will fall off before you even get 5 blocks.”

 “Oh yeah,” she sighed.

 “Hey, Cold?” Axel asked, suddenly behind him.  How the hell did Trickster Jr sneak up on him like that?  He turned to glare at him, but Axel seemed rather unaffected, “do you think they are ok to go on their own?  They are all pretty trashed.” 

 Len just stared at Axel like he had grown a second head, he had expected tolerance for Team Flash from the Rogues because of their deal and the fact that they would team up on occasion to protect the city from metahumans bent on pure chaos and destruction, along with the occasional alien invasion, but seeing a Rogue actual care about them was weird.  Especially Axel, who seemed to delight in causing them as much mischief as humanly possible.  Len raised an eyebrow to show his confusion and Axel just shrugged.  “I may have fell in a tank of jellyfish at the aquarium last week and he may have… saved me a bit.  I forgot I didn’t know how to swim.”

 And the throbbing in Len’s head increased, “Why is this the first I heard about this?”

 “How do you forget you don’t know how to swim?” Mark asked.

 “Why jellyfish?” Mick asked.

 “Hartley wanted fish for his new aquarium and I wanted it to be a surprised.”

 Hartley stood up, knocking his chair over, nearly tripping one of the waitresses, thank god Elaine had catlike reflexes from working here for so many years. “Imbelile! You could have been killed.  For what?  A jellyfish that wouldn’t have even fit in the tank.”

 “Aw, Hartley, don’t be like that. He likes you and is trying to impress you,” Barry said.

 Axel blushed and Hartley just blinked twice, “I have somehow shifted to a parallel universe.  That is the only explanation for any of this that makes any sense.”

 Len secretly agreed with Hartley, not that he would ever admit it out loud.  Be barely admitted it in his mind.  “Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Delilah said, “but the cab is here.”  She handed Barry a medium sized bag that smelled of french fries and had oil stains on the side.  “Can’t let you leave empty handed, now can I?”

 Len looked at her, Delilah was a hardened biker chick in her 50s, her long black hair done up in dreadlocks, almost as skinny as Barry with heavy black eye makeup.  She used to be a boxer before her first bout of cancer ten years ago, and she never quite recovered physically although she was still in remission.  Not that Len would never want to go up against her, she could probably still kick his ass.  She normally was social but not overly friendly with anyone not a seasoned regular and she was treating Barry like he was her grandchild. 

 Further proving Hartley’s parallel universe theory.

 “What?” she snapped at him, “the credit card machine printer went down and Barry fixed it.  He is a nice guy.”

 “Thanks Dee, you are the best!” Barry grinned at her.

 “Go sleep it off, sweetie,” she patted him on the top of the head then turned to Lisa, “help me get them into the cab. And super smart guy, pick up your damn chair before you cause a damn accident.  Just because a fine guy actually likes you for god knows what reason doesn’t give you the right to be an ass.  Or at least a bigger ass than you already are!”

 “She has a point,” Mick said, “Delilah is always right.”

 Cisco passed out and fell into his sister’s arms; Len wonders if this is what a migraine might feel like.   He was about to turn to take his seat again when Lisa snapped, “Oh come on, Len, help with Barry.  Dee has the doc and Cisco just passed out.”

 “Just think of all the freebies and passes we are going to get after this!” Roy said, “did anyone think of videotaping this?”

 “Blackmail material for years,” Mark smirked.

 Len almost said something but then they did have it coming after pulling a stunt like this.  “Fine,” he herded Barry out the door, following close behind Dee and his sister.  They somehow got them all into the cab without anyone getting injured or tripping over themselves.  Lisa got in the passenger side, next to the driver and gave them an address.  Len went to close the door and paused a moment.  He caught the sad, beautiful drunk look in Barry’s eyes and some tiny part of him wondered if he should go home with Barry.  Just to make sure that he got home ok.  Len iced that part of himself the moment he was aware of it.  He was Captain Cold for god sake, not Barry Allen’s boyfriend, the stupid kid could take care of himself.  And yet… “I want to do something stupid,” he said softly.

 “I am something stupid.  Do me,” Barry said.

 “Very funny, Barry,” Len said, turning away from him.  A sharp pain went through his chest, Barry was drunk, there was no way he could mean it and that surprisingly hurt.

 “Stop being an ass, Len,” Delilah said, “take your man home.”

 “He isn’t my man.”

 “Then stop making him pay for your meals, keeping one eye on the door for him to come in and get that ‘finally you are here’ smirk whenever he does come in.  He obviously is head over heels for you.”

 “Don’t know what you are talking about.”

 “You get this stubbornness from you mama’s side of the family, you get more like Old Man Winters every damn day,” Delilah closed the car door and the cab took off.  She rolled her eyes and went back into the bar, Len waited a minute, went back inside and ordered another beer.  He never drank from anything he let out of his sight, even if it was surrounded by the Rogues.  Especially if it was surrounded by the Rogues. He went back to their table and found Axel backed up against the wall by Hartley, who was lecturing him on the stupidity of his jellyfish scheme, Roy and Mark were watching with great amusement and throwing in random comments to egg Hartley on.  Oh well, saved Len from yelling at him. 

  

It was closing time, Hartley, Roy, Mark and Mick left half an hour ago in their own cab.  Axel stayed behind, he was currently crashing on Hartley’s couch and wasn’t eager to go home.  After Hartley finished his two-hour lecture and one extra-large Long Island Ice Tea, he gave Axel the cold shoulder.  Trickster Jr. had been taking turns crashing on Mark, Roy, Shawna and Hartley’s couches for the past few months.  He had a terrible fear of being alone or in one place for an extended period of time after his last job with James Jessie.  Len never asked, but started to wonder if he should. 

 “Go crash a safehouse three,” Len sighed, “Mick is there, just do not say anything to him and take the bedroom across from the bathroom in the back.”

 “Ok, thank you,” Axel said.

 “Tonight only, got that?”

 “Yes, mon Captain,” Axel said as he saluted and headed out the door.  “And no more jellyfish or other crazy schemes without checking with me first!” Len yelled after him. 

 Delilah came up to him and handed him a receipt, “Jellyfish boy paid your tab when you weren’t looking.  Now that your crew is gone, go check on your man.”

 “Dee…”

 “Stop being ridiculous, you know you will sleep better knowing he is ok.  Humor an old broad, will you?”

 “I don’t know where he lives,” Len smirked.

 “When has that ever stopped you before? I know the cabbie, it’s Zhang from Central City Taxi, bribe him to get the address, he has a gambling problem so even just $100 will do it… and here I thought you were the brilliant criminal mind.”

 “One of these days, Dee…”

 “Good bye, Leonard,” she smiled at him as he growled quietly and stalked toward the door.  Forget Delilah, he was going home, starting a load of clothes, taking a nice shower, putting on a Louis Armstrong vinyl before crawling into bed. 

 

 And yet an hour later, he found himself picking a rather pathetic lock in a mediocre neighborhood.  When Reverse Flash-Wells died, Len knew he left his rather large estate to Barry.  There was absolutely no excuse for him living in a place like this!  He opened the door in less than 5 seconds and entered, relocking the door behind him.  He flipped on the lights, believing he would find Barry passed out on the couch, but the room was empty.  It was second hand store chic and the well-worn rug was a burnt orange color.  He walked back toward the hallway that probably led to the bedroom and heard a bathroom fan.  He opened the door and found it completely dark, turned the light on and found Barry passed out next to the toilet.  Thank god, he hadn’t thrown up laying down or else… Len refused to think about that as he gently sat him up then flushed the toilet.  Barry stank of vomit and the Flash-proof alcohol, he needed a shower.  “Barry, you need to wake up.  Come on kid,” Len said as he carefully shook Barry.

 “Len?” Barry moaned pitifully.

 Len grabbed the bathroom cup and filled it with water before putting it against Barry’s mouth and slowly filling his mouth with only about a teaspoon of water.  Barry swallowed it, and Len gave him more to drink.  The continued that way until about cup was finished.  Luckily it didn’t cause Barry to throw up again, like downing the glass most likely would have.  “Can you stand up?” Len asked.

 “Yeah, I guess.”  Len shut the lid to the toilet and helped Barry it on top of it.  He stripped him of his sweater and undershirt, throwing the disgusting garments in the hallway to be dealt with later.  With some good upper body strength and some fancy handwork, he had stripped Barry completely naked and helped him into the shower.  He had wondered on occasion what Barry would look like naked, the tight Flash outfit left just enough to the imagination, but Len was tired and in protector mode, sexual thoughts were not currently in his mind.  Barry could barely stand on his own so Len joined him in the shower, stripping down to his undershirt and boxers.  He never took his shirt off in front of anyone ever, even if he knew Barry was too far gone to even remember this.  He grabbed the washcloth and soap, making quick work of washing Barry before turning off the shower and drying him.  There were two towels on the towel racks, Len quickly dried Barry off and dropped him back on top of the toilet, the towel across his lap for modesty, while he dried himself with the other.  Barry stared at him, looking slightly more alert, his head cocked to one side.  He lifted his hand and ran his fingers across a large, jagged knife scar across his stomach.  Len looked down and realized that his undershirt was practically see through wet and Barry could see his scars.   Len took a step back and wrapped the towel around his chest.  “No, please don’t,” Barry said, “I shouldn’t have touched you, I wasn’t thinking.”

 “Obviously,” Len said.

 “It’s just that your scars are beautiful.”

 What the fuck did he just say?  Len was torn between panic and rage, how dare Barry who has a tight body with beautiful, markless skin say that to him.  Barry must have seen something in Len’s eyes because he quickly added, “I cannot even imagine what you went through, I don’t want to, because your father was an evil man. He never deserved such wonderful kids like you and Lisa.  Your scars as a testament to your survival, your strength and the journey to become the amazing, sexy brilliant man that you are today. You don’t have to hide them from me, Len.”

 Barry carefully pulled at the towel and Len let it drop to the floor, stunned by Barry’s sentiment.  He had been looking him in the eye and knew, even in the space between drunk and hungover, he meant every word he said.  Barry slowly lifted Len’s shirt and placed a soft kiss on the scar he previously touched.  Len shuttered and took a step back. “Don’t,” Len looked down at his feet. The swirl of so many emotions in his gut made him feel nauseous now, the throbbing of his head starting to return, he just wanted to get Barry to bed and then to leave and pretend none of this ever happened.

 “I am sorry,” Barry whispered, hanging his head, “I just wanted you to know.”

 “Let’s get you to bed.”

 “You have no idea how many times I dreamed of you saying that,” Barry sighed and stood, the towel dropping to the floor and he slowly walked over the towels, wobbling slightly, and headed toward his bed room.  Len quickly cleaned up the bathroom, he never could stand a messy bathroom, then stripped out of his wet underthings and redressed without them.  It wasn’t comfortable but better than wearing them under his clothes.   Leaving the bathroom, he noticed the bedroom door open and a light on inside.  Len went to check on Barry and found him still completely naked, searching a drawer for something.  “Barry, go to bed.”

 “They are in here somewhere.”

 “Fine, don’t go to bed.  I will see myself out.”

 “Wait, you aren’t going to stay?”

 Huh?  Barry saw his scars and wanted him to stay?  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 “It’s really late, or early depending on your perception and your headache is back, I can tell.  I swear I won’t flirt with you or confess my undying love.  Please stay.  I found them!” Barry pulled out a pair of navy blue velvety looking pants that were obviously too big for him, but might fit Len and set them on top of the dresser, “now you have to stay.”

 The thought of driving home with this headache didn’t really appeal to him, those pants did look super comfortable and he did suddenly feel tired.  “I don’t have to stay. I choose to stay.  Now where are your pjs?”

 “I sleep naked.”

 Of course, he does.  “Of course, you do,” Len said, shit the filter between brain and mouth was starting to fail him. 

 “I tend to run hot,” Barry said as he pulled back his covers and slid into the bed.

 “I thought you weren’t going to flirt with me?” Len teased slightly.

 Barry blushed, “I didn’t mean it like… don’t leave!”

 “I am not leaving,” Len grabbed the pants from the top of the dresser, “let me go get changed.”  He went back into the bathroom, hung his underthings over the top of the shower to dry and changed out of his jeans into those super soft pants.  Oh yes, he was so keeping those.  It felt infinitely better than the jeans he was wearing, luckily, he wore a long sleeve t-shirt instead of his regular sweater.  He picked up his jeans, socks and boots off the floor and took them into Barry’s bedroom and set them on the chair.  He kept his cellphone with him as he climbed into bed, putting it under the pillow as he laid his head down.  The pain started to lessen as he closed his eyes, he felt a gentle hand massaging his head, but instead of becoming wide awake or moving away, he quickly drifted off to sleep.

  

Len woke to the sound of his phone going off.  He slowly opened his eyes, it was still rather dark outside and the bed was so warm and comfortable he just wanted to ignore it and get some sleep.  There was a great source of heat, curled up around him, warm breath on his neck and it felt amazing.  Nope, not moving.  Wait, what?  Len looked down to see Barry holding him tightly, nuzzling his neck and drooling on his shirt.  Holy shit what happened?  It took Len a moment to remember how drunk Barry had gotten the night before and that he came to check on him.  Oh, Snow was going to pay for this as soon as he got his cold gun.  He reached for the cellphone under his… the pillow, dammit, and saw he had a half dozen messages from the different Rogues.  Hartley had started a ‘group chat’ trying to find out where Axel was as he did not return to his apartment last night.  No one had seen him, not even Mick.  It appeared Trickster Jr. could follow directions and stay out of slight.  The Rogues were worried about Axel’s location, complaining he wasn’t responding to any of their texts or phone calls.  Len checked the time it was just after 8AM, it must be overcast or about to rain for it to still be so dark outside.  Axel normally slept until 10 or 11 unless there was a job.  “Everything ok?” Barry said, barely opening his eyes.

 “Freak out on me and I will freeze you to the bed.”

 “Kinky and you don’t have your cold gun,” Barry said, “I remember now why I hate hangovers.”

 “I hope you remember that in the future instead of downing 250ml of Snow’s crazy concoctions like a shot.”

 “Normally that is the only way to feel the buzz.  It normally wears off about 15 seconds later.”

 “Yeah, not so much last night.”

 “So, who is blowing up your phone at 8AM on a Sunday morning?”

 “Hartley is looking for Axel and the other Rogues don’t know where he is.”

 “Oh no…”

 “I know where he is, probably still asleep where I told him to go,” Len texted Mick and told him where Axel was and asked him to check on the youngest Rogue.  Just in case.

 “Hartley was really upset about that jellyfish fiasco?”

 “You missed the two-hour lecture he got after you left.”

 “Ouch,” Barry said, snuggling into Len’s side, “you gonna tell them where he is.”

 “Mick is checking on him now,” Len said after he read Mick’s message.  He was unamused about Axel spending the night there without him knowing it, but Len knew he had a tiny soft spot for him.  It’s the only reason he hadn’t killed or maimed him yet. 

 “Let’s go back to sleep,” Barry said, “my head is killing me.  Your head ok?”

 Len stopped and thought a moment.  Yes, his headache was gone and he actually felt pretty amazing.  He was also surprised that Barry touching him felt so good, cuddling was normally very uncomfortable for him.  He then remembered the so tender kiss Barry gave one of his most ugly scars last night and the area began to tingle pleasantly.  “Yeah, I am fine.”

 Mick sent a message to the group saying that Axel was soundly asleep in his extra bedroom and to call off the search party Mark was threatening to throw together.  Mick even took a picture and sent it to the group of Axel curled up around the pillow, dead to the world.  Good, everyone would calm down now and hopefully go back to bed. 

 Hartley started flipping out in the group chat, so Len just left.  There isn’t enough caffeine in this world that would make getting four hours of sleep enough to deal with Hartley being super dramatic for no reason… or at least no reason he would admit to.  “I better get going,” Len said as he started to pull away.

 “No!” Barry moaned, “stay!”

 “I can’t,” Len said, “I have things I have to do today and figure out where Axel is going to be staying until this thing with Hartley blows over.”

 “The Rogues are just one big, crazy, heist-pulling family, aren’t they?” Barry teased, with a small smile on his face, “you are good for them.”

 “We are a Lifetime movie waiting to happen,” Len joked back, enjoying their non-heist related banter.

 “No idea who they will get to play you,” Barry said, “no actor in Hollywood could even begin to compare.”

 “You are right, no one is cool enough to play me.”

 Barry giggled and winced at the pain the pitch of his giggle gave him.  “Ok, no more Flash-proof alcohol.  Hang overs suck.”

 “Yes, they do.  No more going to Saints and Sinners if you do decide to indulge.”

 “I needed some fries, speaking of which I have them in the fridge.  I will need to stop by and pay for them, I don’t want Ms. Dee to think I am taking advantage of her kindness.”

 “The doc threw up on the floor of Big Belly Burger?”

 “Oh yeah, it was disgusting, I have never seen anyone throw up that much in my life.  Let’s face it, Saints and Sinners has better food than Big Belly Burger anyway.  Their bacon cheese burger with their homemade spicy mayo is a religious experience for the taste buds.  Although I am sure someone who goes by Captain Cold doesn’t like his food spicy.”

 Len raised an eyebrow, “There are a few things I enjoy hot, Scarlet.”

 Barry blushed as Len carefully disentangled himself from Barry’s limbs and stood up, careful to make sure the shirt was pulled down to cover the scars.  “You can use the shower here before you leave, if you want,” Barry offered.

 “So, you can try to tempt me back into bed, I don’t think so,” Len said with a smirk, “anyway, I don’t think your apple shampoo would be a good scent for me.”

 “I think it would be an excellent scent for you,” Barry said, carefully taking Len’s hand, pushing the sleeve up just enough to be able to place a soft, sweet kiss on the inside of his wrist.  It was so soft and so good, Len let him kiss and tongue the sensitive skin for a few moments before he forced himself to pull away.  “No, Barry,” Len said firmly, “we are not having sex.  Period.”

 Barry shifted away quickly as if Len had burnt him, his eyes firmly on the ground.  “You are hung over, which is not remotely sexy and this is not something either of us should run into without a plan or at least a discussion.  Sex changes things, even if it is a one-night stand, which I am not interested in.  I don’t do casual sex, Scarlet.”

 “Me neither,” Barry said.

 “Ok, then we will have to sit down, have a chat, get on the same page then decide if we want to move forward with fucking.  You are tempting, but I didn’t get to be leader of the Rogues and one of the best thieves in Central City by giving into temptation.  My sister, Mick and the Rogues comes first.”

 “I understand,” Barry’s voice was small and it was like a punch to the gut, but there was no way that Len could stand for letting Barry know the power the young, beautiful man had over him.

 “Let me calm things down between Hartley and Axel and I will be in touch.”

  

Len went back to his safe house, took a shower, started the laundry he should have done last night then called Mick to have Axel come over and see him.  Len was surprised to learn that Axel had already left and that he hadn’t picked up his stuff from Hartley’s, which the Pied Piper threatened to leave in a dumpster in the back. Hartley did promise to let him know if Axel did stop by, god only knows what new hair-brained scheme Trickster Jr. was planning to try to get himself back in Hartley’s good graces.  It was late afternoon, just before 5PM and still no sign of Axel.  Normally he would have contacted someone by now with a joke post or random photo he thought was cool, updated his Tumblr account with stupid pranks he pulled, teasing captions to photos from Team Flash or stupid gossip about their different sexual exploits.  A quiet Axel was an Axel in trouble.  Maybe James Jessie grabbed him again?  Looks like he and Mardon didn’t get through to him last time and let Mick have a shot at him.

 Hartley showed up to the safe house, where Mick was staying, seeing if Axel had returned.  Lisa and Len came over to talk to him, but instead of talking about his feelings for Axel, he presented the data Len had hired him to get about the new security updates to the Central City Museum.  It made Len’s heart hurt to look at Hartley, it reminded him of the look Barry gave him when he told him he didn’t have to have sex with Barry.  Hartley was about to leave, having handed Len the thumb drive that had all the information he just went over on it, when there was a timid knock at the door.  Mick stood up and went to answer it, grabbing his heat gun as he left the room.  They hadn’t been expecting anyone, so Lisa, Len and Hartley had their hands on their weapons, ready for trouble.  “Get your dumbass in here, where the hell have you been!?” Mick exclaimed then they heard the door slam.  Axel has made his return.

 Axel was shoved into the room by Mick, who looked like he wanted to wring the kids’ neck or fix him a sandwich.  He walked over to Hartley, got on his knees in front of him and took a bizarrely adorable stuffed jellyfish that was white with dots of different primary colors and offered it to Hartley with both hands.  “I am sorry. You are super smart, you can get anything or anyone that you want so I wanted to get you something extra special.  So maybe you would notice me? Notice me other than the stupid, annoying Axel guy that you tolerate because we are in the same crew.  I didn’t mean to upset you, that is the exact opposite of what I meant to do, but I know now I went about it the wrong way.  I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I got us dinner reservations at Elements Sushi Bar & Japanese Bistro for 7PM, then we could maybe go home, watch Sharknado and then you can rip apart their stupid sci-fi science with your brilliant real science!  What do you say?”

 “Are you asking me out for a fish themed date night?” Hartley asked softly, looking at the stuffed jellyfish.

 “Yes, look, Hart, I know I am not as sexy or smart,” Axel was cut off by Hartley, grabbing Axel by the shoulders and kissing him soundly, pulling back and grinning at the hopeful look on Axel’s face, “No one is as smart as me, but no one is as caring or as thoughtful as you, let’s go home and get ready.  I have heard Elements has an amazing, sake selection is supposed to be the best in America and their signature sushi rolls are not to be missed.  Although, there is a waiting list for at least four months.”

 “You aren’t the only one that can hack, you know,” Axel pouted, “firewall was pathetic, took me less than 2 minutes to change the reservation.”

 “Who are we replacing?”

 “The Police Commissioner, party of two although his wife is currently out of town, doing some big fundraising event in Star City.”

 “Serves him right for stepping out on his wife,” Hartley said, reaching down and grabbing the stuffed jellyfish and putting it into his pocket, “let’s go home, Axel, and get ready.  We don’t want to be late for the pre-dinner show when the Police Commissioner looks like a total fool.”

 Axel grinned, finally looking like himself and jumped up, taking a step back so Hartley can get up and the pair walks out the door, “Call if you need anything else, Cold, just not tonight,” Hartley said, waving at them behind him.

 Len waited until they heard the door shut before he opened his mouth, but Lisa beat him to it.  “He didn’t come up with that,” she said.

 Mick shook his head, “Nope.”

 “The Sharknado thing I believe he did,” Len said, “but Elements? He had help with that one.”

 “Shawna?”

 “No, she is a terrible liar,” Lisa said, “she would have at least let it slip that she saw Axel while people were pretending to not look for him, but actual were.”

 “She is the only hopeless romantic in the group,” Mick said, “I know I am not.”

 “Your idea of romance, Mick, is a bottle of cheap beer and a hard fuck,” Len said.

 “Oh really?  Need to tell me something there, Lenny?” Lisa asked.

 “Nope,” Len said, “but I did platonically live with the guy off and on for years.  Thin walls that scarred me for life.”

 “Shut it!” Mick had the decency to blush.

 “You don’t think… Axel and Flash seemed almost buddy-buddy last night,” Lisa said, “could he have gone to the biggest, sickening sweet romantic to get advice?”

 Mick shook his head, “No, why would Flash help him?  Axel is a Rogue through and through, it would make no sense helping him out; what would he get out of it?”

 Len leaned back in his chair, “Yes, what could be possibly want so badly he would deal with Axel while he was hung over and risk the wrath of his do-gooder friends and Detective West if they found out.” 

  

Barry came home early from Flash patrol, he still wasn’t feeling the best, but neither was Cisco or Caitlin.  Thankfully it was quiet tonight.  He locked the door and checked to make sure the door latched, opened the fridge to eat the rest of the fries that warmed up really well, but found his fridge totally cleaned out and a brown paper bag sitting in the middle, still stapled shut.  He took the bag out and opened in.  Inside was a Bacon Cheese Burger from Saints and Sinners, an order of fries and a large salad that looked to be all fresh veggies.  Attached to the top of the fries was a note, ‘For a superhero, your security is rather pathetic.  Get the door fixed! And your fridge is a biohazard!’  Barry recognized Len’s handwriting and smiled.  It seems that his helpful suggestions to Axel may have worked.  He warmed up the fries and burger, and while they were heating up he went into the bathroom to jump in a quick shower.  Next to his apple shampoo, he found a ‘Mint and Musk’ shampoo and body wash from a company he had never heard of, then saw a new toothbrush next to his.  While this would be strange to anyone else, an invasion of privacy, but Barry just smiled.  Maybe he hadn’t screwed things up with Len after all!

**Author's Note:**

> Want more of my Coldflash Shenanigans, silly captions, and teasers to upcoming stories? Just want to say "hi"? Awesome come check me out on Tumblr @ bluewomanruins


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